


Connection but Not Obsession

by CrashDevil (cjdevlin19)



Series: Crash Into Me [8]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-15
Updated: 2019-08-15
Packaged: 2020-09-01 13:42:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20259016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cjdevlin19/pseuds/CrashDevil
Summary: As he’s stuck riding out a storm in a motel room in Arkansas, Dean gets a text from Crash that forces him to realize the things he’s been ignoring since the Mark came off.





	Connection but Not Obsession

**Story Warnings**: a bit of angst, some anger, Dean’s Amara-induced apathy

* * *

Dean looked down at his phone in confusion. The message itself wasn’t confusing, it was sweet. **Heard there were a few tornadoes through Smith County last night. Hope everyone’s safe.** It was exactly a Crash text message. Just checking in on him to make sure he’s okay. It was the message before that, and the one before that, and the half a dozen before _that _which drew Dean’s attention.

He hadn’t responded to one of her messages in five months. It wasn’t intentional, of course. He’d been busy, right? He’d been too damn busy to send a few words to her. Five _months_, though? That couldn’t be right.

“Dean, what’s up? You’ve been staring at your phone for, like, twenty minutes,” Sam asked, looking across the motel room at his big brother.

Dean looked up at him, his eyebrows tucking together as he shifted on the bed to lean against the headboard. “Lemme ask you somethin’. When’s the last time you remember catchin’ me on the phone with Crash? Two months, maybe?”

Sam shook his head. “Longer than that. You still had the Mark. It was before…” He looked down slightly. “…before Charlie died.”

Dean scoffed, shaking his head. “That _can’t _be right.”

“I’m sure of it, Dean. I…I thought maybe you got tired of pining after a married woman.”

“No, her husband left her. I didn’t tell you? We almost got together back in August but the Mark spooked her.” Dean sighed. “It’s been five months since I even returned a text. I haven’t-”

“It’s Amara, isn’t it?” Sam asked, knowingly. “That connection you’ve got with her?”

“Yeah, but…what I’ve got with Crash…She’s gotta be losin’ her damn mind worrying about this.” Dean licked his lips and looked down at his phone again.

_**Hey sweetheart. Long time.**_ He tapped the message out with his thumbs and waited. Dean half expected her to ignore his text. He expected to have to call her and beg her for forgiveness, but it didn’t take long for his phone to buzz in his hand.

**Hey. What’s up? Those tornadoes didn’t hit you guys, did they?**

** _Nah. We aren’t even in Kansas. We’re sitting in a motel room in Arkansas waiting out this storm._ **

Again, there was no time between his text and her response. **Oh, well I hope you guys are staying safe.**

** _Safe is relative, crash. Hunter, remember?_ **

**I hope you’re staying as safe as you can, then.**

** _Why? You worry about me?_ **

**Something wrong with that? I don’t hear from you for months, only way I know you’re alive is through the ouija board…and you know how much I hate fucking with spirit boards.**

There it was. Dean hung his head. How was he supposed to explain this to her? Start simple. With Crash, it was always easiest to start simple. _**I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to drop off the face of the earth.**_

**It’s okay. Shit happens.**

** _Don’t be understanding._ **

**I really do understand. It’s cool.**

** _Can you talk?_ **

**What do you think we’re doing?**

** _I wanna hear your voice._ **

**I’m at work.**

Dean looked at his watch. She never closed. There was no way that she was at work. **_Okay. I just thought it might be easier to explain if I didn’t have to use my thumbs, right?_**

**Then call me tomorrow afternoon. I get off at 3.**

He looked up at Sam. “Oh, man, she is pissed.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Well, she just lied to me about being at work so she wouldn’t have to talk to me. I think I should call anyway.”

Sam sighed and ran his hand through his hair. “Are you sure that’s a good idea? You’re still hung up on-”

“Crash deserves an explanation, Sam.”

“And how are you planning to explain Amara? You barely understand it, yourself.”

“Why do you always argue with me when it comes to her, huh?” Dean sighed and stood, looking out the motel room window at the rain. “From the moment you met her, you’ve argued with me on-”

“She was married, Dean!”

“To an abusive dick!” Dean snapped, turning back to his brother. He took a deep breath and shook his head. “Crash never deserved that shit. Not a single fucking minute of it and why am I upset about this _now _when I haven’t been for the past five months?!”

Dean looked down at his phone and hit the call button. It rang twice, then went to voicemail. “_You’ve reached Cassandra De-_” Dean rolled his eyes and hung up, immediately ringing through again. One ring before he went to voicemail this time. “Fuck! Come on, kid, pick up the damn phone!”

He rang through again. And again. And again, until it finally clicked through. “I said I’m at work, Dean. What’s up?” she snapped.

He sighed in relief at her voice. He forgot how soothing her voice was, even with anger flowing through it. “Oh, come on. You’re not at work.”

“Yes, I-”

“Your availability is 5AM to 3PM, kid, I remember when you changed it to deal with Mike’s new job.”

There was a moment of silence. “Maybe I changed it again.”

“But you didn’t,” he said with certainty. “Too much other shit has changed over the last six months, you wouldn’t change that, too. Come on.”

“Look, I’m just…busy, that’s all.”

“No, you’re mad at me.”

Another silence assaulted him. “I’m not mad. I’m fine…and you’re busy,” she finally said.

Dean licked his lips and sighed. “Will you please let me explain?”

“You don’t owe me an explanation, Dean.”

“Yes, I do. Crash…” He tossed a look over his shoulder at Sam, who was shaking his head, looking at his laptop. “Look, you remember I told you that Sam was gonna do something stupid to rid me of the Mark of Cain?” Sam scoffed loudly and turned a bitch face on him, but Dean ignored it. “Well, I was right, and when he pulled the Mark off of me it let out the Darkness, okay? Her name is Amara and she’s the most powerful thing we’ve ever come across.”

“Okay. Like I said, you’re busy.”

“No, it’s not just that, kid, it’s-” Dean was suddenly sure he should have waited until he could explain better. He bit his bottom lip and sighed. “I had the Mark and it was the lock on her prison. So, now we’re…we’re connected…and I can't…fuck, Crash. I wish I could explain this better, but…it’s not on purpose. I’ve just been kinda hung up on her because of this connection pulling on me and-”

“Dean. Stop,” she demanded, softly. “This terrible, powerful creature has a connection with you. Maybe it’s better you focus on that, not on appeasing me.”

“But I want you to-”

“What? You want me to say I understand?” she snapped. “I understand, Dean. _Really_. I understood months ago. I’m not sure why you felt the need to remedy this tonight but-”

“Because I didn’t even realize that I hadn’t talked to you since before Sam got the Mark off of me and how could you understand when I don’t even understand it?”

“I’m a witch, Dean. If you really think I only used the spirit board, which I _despise_, to check on you, then you don’t know me very well. Just a fun fact, astral projection comes very easy for my family and while you are very well-warded, Amara was not.”

Dean gasped, eyes going wide. “You found Amara through astral projection?” Sam’s eyes snapped to his, intrigue and concern on their faces. “Did she notice you?”

“I found the _Mark _through astral, she just happened to be the one it was attached to…and, yes, she noticed. She flung me back to my body like a damn rubberband.”

“Crash, why didn’t you say anything? Amara is-”

“Not going to fuck with me. I’m nobody. Listen, you got more important shit to deal with. I’m fine. The Darkness is focused on you. You’re obsessed with her. It works that way. I gotta go, though, I-”

“I’m not obsessed with her, Crash. We’re just…_connected_.” Dean rubbed at the back of his neck with his free hand. He was worried for the witch and felt guilty that him not answering her texts forced her to seek him out in a way that put her in danger. “When did you-”

“I have to get off the phone. Aria’s in the bath and it’s time to wash her hair. Enjoy Arkansas. Bye.”

Dean looked down at the ‘**Call Ended**’ screen on his phone as he pulled it away from his ear. “Shit.”

“She hung up on you?”

He shook his head at his brother. “I said she was pissed, didn’t I?” He tossed his phone on the bed, where it bounced. “Once the storm passes, when we can get outta here, I gotta go see her.”

“Are you sure she wants to see you? She didn’t want to talk to you in the first place, just hung up on you.”

“Doesn’t matter. I _have _to see her, Sam.” Dean sat in the chair opposite Sam and cleared his throat. It was different when she was in front of him. She’d been able to make him forget the Mark last time he saw her, maybe she’d be able to pierce through the connection he had with Amara. The Darkness would hate that, hate Crash. “So, do you wanna come with or you want me to drop you back home first?”

“Drop me off. I’ll keep working the Amara side while you go explain yourself. Try to think it through better before you get there,” Sam advised.

Dean nodded. He’d have to figure out the exact right words before he got to Florida. God only knew what those right words were.


End file.
